My Purpose

To begin, I'd like to say there must be something good about Pitocin when used correctly.  BUT, I also believe that Pitocin is being carelessly used by doctors.  Pitocin is being used in many cases for convenience...NOT NECESSITY.  This disturbs and outrages me.  Doctors have been warned about the side-affects of Pitocin.  I hope that some information this site has to offer can inform other women of the dangers.   There are dangers.

We need to ask our doctors more questions!  We need to have faith in our doctors...but, we need to be aware of what they are putting into our bodies and why.  We need to know the risks!

I know that there are other women out there like me...ones who feel lost and don't understand what happened to them.  Well - you're not alone.  You are not crazy!  Something did go wrong.

If this website helps just one single woman, that would make me happy.   I feel like there is more to be done...I want to see a change happen.  I want to see stricter regulations when it comes to the use of Pitocin to induce labor - enforced regulations on dosage and duration.

My Story

Let me start off by saying...this is an emotional subject for me.  I 'm long winded!  So, if you have a few minutes, please read my story.  I also want to encourage anyone with a similar story or anyone who thinks that they were given too much Pitocin to please post your story on the forum.  I would like to read it and I know there are other women out there who would also.

My first child was due on Wednesday, October 26, 1995 - I was 24 years old and in perfect health.  I went to the doctor that day, after checking me I was only dilated to .5 cm.  He decided to induce me on Friday, October 28, 1995, just two days later.   Being my first child, I had read many books to be aware of what was happening with my body and what to expect out of labor.  I had total trust in my doctor...I mean, they are the experts, right?

I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 am, by 7:00 am I was hooked up to the pit drip and as comfortable as I could get in my bed.  At noon, they decided to start the epidural, I had dilated a little and they wanted to go ahead and break my water.  I noticed that he was having problems using the normal water breaking tool and had to cut it.  This worried me a bit...but I reassured myself that it was fine.  Labor proceeded on very, very slowly.  Later that evening, the doctor came in and told the nurse to up my pit drip.  She refused saying I had been on the highest dosage all day.  By 11:00 pm, I had not dilated any more than 5cm, I was stuck.  My doctor decided a C-Section was the way to go.  So they wheeled me away- into my nightmare. 

(I'd like to say at this point, that I was never given a break from the Pitocin.   I had a constant drip from 7:00 am until they wheeled me away, which was around midnight.  I don't know if they stopped it at that point or not.)

All was wonderful in the operating room...morale was high, the radio was playing, everyone smiling.  My boyfriend watched intensely as they sliced open my abdomen to retrieve our baby...and I was mostly preoccupied with trying to sway the curtain blocking my view with one of my hands that was tied to the table.  I wanted to see the birth of my baby.  (I had planned for my mother to video, but when the doctor called for a C-Section, he refused to let more than one person in or let anyone tape the surgery.)  After a little pressure, there she was -  a beautiful 9lb, 2oz baby girl with a full head of dark hair!  (Myka at two weeks old)

Within minutes they were rushing my baby (after letting me get one quick glance at her) along with my boyfriend out of the room.  The music stopped and panic struck the faces of all I could see.   Something was wrong.  The doctor yelled at the nurses to get more blood and to find another doctor.  I was hemorrhaging.  My uterus was described as a sponge, every time he squeezed to get it to contract down...it would bleed.  The doctor repeatedly told me I needed an emergency hysterectomy or I would die.  Again and again he asked the nurses to verify my answer.  What was I supposed to say at this point?  I said okay...I can't breathe.  I cocked my head back to see the double doors behind me, and found a nurse holding my mother's shaking hand to a paper - signing away what hope I had for any more children.  She was crying...and so was I.  She was so upset that I might hate her for it, but how could I?  She had just saved my life.

I couldn't breathe, even with the oxygen mask.  They were using every good vein in my body for tubes and needles.  Then a tube was placed in my neck.  I could feel the cold blood going into my veins (6 units to be exact) but at that point, didn't really care...I just couldn't breathe.  So they paralyzed me - or that is what they called it.

I awoke to darkness, trapped in my head.  Conscious, but physically frozen.  I could hear voices, my loved ones crying  - feel my boyfriends tears streaming down my left arm, but I couldn't say anything.  The doctor proceeded to tell my family that I may not live...and if I did I might be brain damaged, have respiratory problems, and the list goes on.  So over and over, I questioned my identity - my sanity!  I tried so hard to move just one finger to let them know I was okay, that I was there, but I could not.

Around 5:30 am I regained full consciousness, trying to breathe on my own but choking on the respirator tube they had inserted into my throat.  They removed it, and my grandmother came in first to access the damage.  I noticed my hand looked as though someone had blown me up, no creases, no knuckles...I can just imagine how I must have looked.  The nurses were wonderful in ICU.  When I was in pain and crying, the male nurse that was caring for me, comforted me and was very understanding.  I am so thankful for his kindness.  The nurses at the nursery had dressed my baby and tied a pink bow in her hair.  They took pictures of her and brought them to ICU so I could see her. 

After 3 more pints of blood in ICU, I had a miracle recovery.  Around 7:00 pm, I was taken to the high risk floor in the Women's Hospital.  I was put on respiratory exercises to clear the fluid in my lungs.  The next day, I was moved to a regular room.  The doctor came in and removed the draining tubes that were inserted into my abdomen and had me screaming in pain.  My doctor told me the results of the lab test on my uterus - it was perfectly healthy, nothing wrong with it.  He said... at least you have one child.  I was released from the hospital on Tuesday, October 31, 1995.  (which I thought was a little too quick)

A nurse told my family before I left that a woman just two weeks before - had died of the same exact thing.

I am very thankful for my daughter.  God gave me a beautiful, intelligent, and funny little angel...she is the pride and the joy of my life.  (Myka is now 4 yrs old, in the picture below she was 2 yrs old.  We were at the park and she was being a big ham as usual...she was posing for me...LOL)

After discussing the above events with my family, I was told the doctor came in from the surgery and fell to the floor crying.  When he came to my room to check on me, he just stared, .didn't really say anything except - you aren't supposed to be here.

This leads me to my sister's story.  (which will explain how I found out what happened to my uterus)

June 2nd, 2000 - she arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am, and she was induced with Pitocin shortly after.  We were all terrified.  The nurse couldn't understand our concern.  We do this everyday, she said, we induced 6 today.   She went on to say that after 12 hours or so on Pitocin, they stop the drip and give the uterus a break because it can become saturated and will not work properly. (Food for thought, in fact, it's a feast!)  We told her of my experience and she was horrified.

My sister was on Pitocin until 8pm and only dilated to 6cm. (she was 2cm when she entered the hospital) They decided it was time to give the uterus a break.  Within one hour after they took her off the drip, she had dilated on her own to 10cm and was ready to push.  If they would have kept her on the drip, I believe she would have suffered a much longer labor, a C-Section, or even ended up like me. (It's proven that there's a higher rate of C-Section with Pitocin, Pitocin is also known to cause post pardum hemorrhaging and rupturing of the uterus when given excess amounts, among other things.)

At 9:48 pm, she delivered a beautiful, healthy baby boy.   He was 7lb 7oz and 20.5 inches long.  His name is Chance.  (the picture below is right after birth when they were cleaning him up)

I have asked many doctors to explain what happened to me.  I want some answers, I need closure!  But all say, it happens, and are quick to change the subject.  I have found that doctors won't discuss other doctors.   They have some sort of code of silence.

I could have left my bad birth experience as fate, but 3 1/2 years later I started bleeding.  I went to the ER thinking I was hemorrhaging again!  But it was a period!  WHAT??  The doc had left about an inch of my uterus intact.  My hormones are crazy and everyone wants to put me on antidepressants!  Now I have to take birth control pills to regulate my new period and hormones, even though I can't get pregnant.  I call them "My Daily Reminders."  I do want more children, I loved being pregnant!  I felt so "I AM WOMAN."  I loved the feeling of nourishing another being and feeling that child move within me.  I love being a mother!

(The statute of limitations for medical malpractice in Tennessee is 1 year after the discovery of a wrong and it has to be within 3 years of the date of occurance.  Well, I think this law sucks (pardon my language) and should be changed.  My body wasn't just affected for 1 year, it will affect my whole life.  It will affect the choices I make, or lack of choices.   It will and has already affected my mental, physical, and emotional state.  I live and breathe it everyday.  The dreaded question is when someone asks "Is she your only child?  When are you going to have another one?")

To close, I am asking anyone who may have had a similar experience or think they were given too much Pitocin to tell their story in the forum.  If you had a loved one who died from hemorrhaging after childbirth and you think it may be related to an overdose of Pitocin, please tell your story.